Our Family's Version of the "Glad Game"

"Buck" (my dad) hanging with Jeeves and Bubby

I haven't been the easiest person to live with this month. I've realized something about myself. In a crisis I'm really good, sort of kick into 'function with minimal emotion' mode. I remain very calm and rational for the most part and plow through. However eventually the emotions do come to the surface, though usually long after the event and at seemingly inappropriate times or else seemingly unrelated moments.
My father died suddenly two years ago. He had been ill, but was getting better and then one night out of the blue, started hemorrhaging and passed away very quickly. A few months later I found out I was pregnant and then we received the TTTS diagnosis and I moved into another crisis.
So now my babies are nineteen months old and doing well, but I'm crying a lot, at really odd moments. I'm irritable and tired and I'm not pregnant (I checked just to be sure). I realized I'm grieving on a slightly delayed schedule.
So in an effort to head off depression, I'm self prescribing: permission to cry whenever the need is felt and a daily dose of thankfulness.
When my father was ill, everyday he and my mother would think of something to be thankful for, counted their blessings, similar to Pollyanna's glad game.
And in this spirit I post my first "Thankful" entry:

I'm thankful for the legacy my father left me and our family. A legacy of laughter and fun, silliness and jokes, giving and serving and an attitude of thanksgiving.